Julia Ruzicka – Bass

Frank Turner – Vocals

Ben Dawson – Drums

Cameron Dean – Guitar [-2004]

Tom Fowler – Guitar [2004-]

Frank Turner Ben and I were the big Refused fans, I’m not sure they were really Cam and Julia’s cup of tea at the time, as I remember it. For me, ‘The Shape Of Punk To Come’ was a total game-changer, such an incredible artistic statement; Kneejerk, Ben and my previous band, had been slavishly derivative of them (in a shit, 17-year-old kind of way). I remember we were having a really hard time coming up with a band name, nothing that any of us could agree on. We had our first proper show coming up and in the end I think Ben just blurted out the name as a suggestion and we went with it for want of anything better. I can’t say it’s a name I like particularly.

Julia Ruzicka I was an alternative-rock, indie-rock kid I suppose? Kid? Actually, late teens and early twenties. In my early teens I was into all kinds of metal actually, the more extreme the better. I listened to Bathory, Slayer, Death and the like during that phase, for Christ sake, no wonder my mother was slightly (very) worried. And perhaps that was my underlining attraction to it. Ha! Pre teens, yup, lots of pop in there, but also 50’s and 60’s rock and roll thanks to my parents’ record collection.

“I’ll always remember the absolutely justified “who the fuck is this?!” expression on [Cam’s] face as he came down the escalators. I liked him instantly, and when I heard him play I loved his riffs and playing style instantly… He wrote some truly unique, dirty yet melodic riffs. That’s what you want right?”
– Julia Ruzicka

I would like to add however, that there definitely has been some Australian influence in post Million Dead playing and writing due to going back in time a little a few years ago and getting into Australian bands like The Saints, The Dirty Three and of course Nick Cave, and all Nick Cave associated output such as Grinderman, Bad Seeds and The Birthday Party. I love The Birthday Party and still quite astonished we (Oz) spawned such a band. Perhaps in a weird juxtaposed kind of way their origin may have been a larger factor than we may care to contemplate in terms of their conception. It doesn’t matter actually how they came about really when I think about it. They existed, and therefore bands like the Melvins and many others in that vein exist. Their influence it seems did cast a wide and crucial net.

Cameron Dean I’m from Perth and Jules is from Melbourne – a long way apart – so we didn’t know each other before we moved to the UK. We met through a mutual friend in London and quickly realised we both had similar musical interests and wanted to start a band. I initially moved to London for a number of reasons, music being a big part of it, but also just wanting to get out of Perth. I’d played in a number of bands there, but there were no real opportunities unless you were into playing covers.

Julia Ruzicka Music was the main reason for my move too. I grew up with a love for British music, film and comedy, so it felt very easy and natural settling in. It was an exciting time for me and I was just keen to meet other musicians, hence meeting Cam! As he mentioned, we had a mutual friend, a lovely girl who worked at HMV with me and she suggested that I should meet Cameron as I explained I was new to the country, didn’t know that many people yet, and wanted to play music.

At the time Cam worked at Tower Records so I decided to pop in. I asked a security guard there if they wouldn’t mind seeing if he was free. I’ll always remember the absolutely justified “who the fuck is this?!” expression on his face as he came down the escalators. I liked him instantly, and when I heard him play I loved his riffs and playing style instantly, and knew I definitely wanted to play in a band with this guy. He wrote some truly unique, dirty yet melodic riffs. That’s what you want right?

Ben Dawson Cameron knew that I played drums as he was my supervisor at Tower Records. He asked if I wanted to try out drums and I had the time and the enthusiasm. I think the first riff I played along to was the opening to what would become ‘The Eddison Address’. I hadn’t actually ever intended Frank to join the band but being that we’d been playing together for a long time, I asked if he wanted to check out what I was up to. He offered to do vocals and put all the energy and attack into it that he has today. What he didn’t have was any real singing ability and Julz wasn’t convinced for some time, I remember.

Frank Turner My only thing to add to this, really, is that I genuinely thought it was a set up when I went down to the rehearsal room. For some reason I had it in my head that they were a pop-punk three-piece type affair (I didn’t know Cam or Jules) and was just going down to hang out. Ended up screaming along for a bit enthusiastically, and remember that some people were more convinced by it than others!

“[Frank] offered to do vocals and put all the energy and attack into it that he has today. What he didn’t have was any real singing ability and Julz wasn’t convinced for some time, I remember.”
– Ben Dawson

Cameron Dean I remember Frank coming in and doing some talking style vocals too that sounded really good to me, and I thought he got the idea of what we were trying to do, so I guess it just went from there. Obviously he and Ben were such good friends that it was very easy for them to play together.

Frank Turner I had some recording equipment and offered to track a demo for them, with the sort of hint from me and Ben that I’d add vocals to it, which we did. Sounded like shit, I never was any good at recording. But it went from there.

Julia Ruzicka As the guys have summed up the first few rehearsals and how they played out I’ll leave it to them, but will add girly emotion to it here and say that I was very excited by it all and they were some of the most enjoyable days I’ve had making music.

Frank Turner I also remember that we had some pretty different ideas, influence-wise. Cam was into a lot of stuff that I wasn’t (although I’ve come around to a lot of it now, like Hot Snakes). Julia was talking about QOTSA, a band I’ve never been much into. Ben and I were still kind of on a hardcore trip. But I actually think that mix made us much more interesting as a band, in the long run.

Cameron Dean You have to bear in mind that there is a 7 or 8 year age gap between Jules and I and Ben and Frank, so there was a big gap in a lot of things, but we all liked heavy music. I had been into a lot of death and thrash metal as well as a lot of grunge and alternative stuff, which was similar to Jules maybe, but the pop-punk thing I never got and hardcore I really only got into after meeting them.

“There certainly wasn’t supposed to be any kind of “party line” or anything like that, it was me sounding off about things. I was a pretty typically angry adolescent at the time, and was still (just about) hanging out with anarchist types and being into that whole world, though the disillusion was setting in.”
– Frank Turner

Julia Ruzicka While the years between us weren’t ridiculous in length (it’s not like Cam and I were winding up gramophones as kids while the other two had Apple devices embedded in them during the foetal period) they were far enough apart to be an influence I think in terms of how we approached writing together. There was a lovely naivety in how we jammed and wrote (i.e. had no idea what we were doing some of the time perhaps?) which definitely was a contributor to the early sound of Million Dead. That’s what made it exciting I think. The differing cultural backgrounds coupled with age differences gave it a unique spin.

As with Cam, I got into hardcore and certain styles of punk after meeting, and through, Ben and Frank. That’s why I always found the comparisons to At The Drive In through UK press coverage etc hilarious as I remember reading reviews of us at the time genuinely thinking “who the fuck are At The Drive In???!!” I really didn’t know. Suffice to say, I found out pretty quickly who they were and I kind of understand the comparisons, and that’s fine, it’s just when the journalist would imply that we took direct influence from them which I found perplexing and amusing as I personally, at that point, hadn’t even heard a note of ATDI and don’t recall the others either talking about them, let alone trying to sound like them.

Ben Dawson We did a few recordings and I really can’t remember which one actually made it onto that EP. We really went on a learning curve on all the early recordings.

Cameron Dean I don’t remember this much either. I was thinking maybe it was some recordings we did at the Whitehouse (?) out near Bristol. We only went there because The Heads recorded there and I remember thinking they were pretty awesome at the time. I really love psychedelic sounds, although I’m pretty sure I was alone in that. Obviously we didn’t sound anything like The Heads anyway and I’m pretty sure the recordings were a bit shit in the end.

Frank Turner We tracked that EP at Zed One studios in north London, I remember that. But little else. I can confidently say the lyrics are pretty shit though, haha. I guess a charitable term would be “naive”. There were a bunch of songs hanging around before the first record, like ‘I Am Become The South’ and ‘Hipster Clad and Clueless’ that actually have stood the test of time rather better than I expected. Not saying they’re great, just that they’re pretty decent given our circumstances at the time. And the lyrics were a tiny bit less shit.

Julia Ruzicka ‘Hipster Clad and Clueless…’ for some reason I was always really chuffed and proud of that song. I must dig it out soon and listen to it again and see how insane or right I was to feel that way about it back then.

The only recall from that time that I can scrounge up is down to memories via recognition as provided by the others. I definitely remember Cam being into the Heads, I can remember Zed One (as Frank mentioned) but a lot of those very early recordings are all a blur. It was us learning how to record and write together and as we had no money, we pulled in loads of favours from people who either ran or owned studios or were in bands who knew of someone we could use on the cheap. Cheap rarely means good though sadly.

There was some weird bunker type crappy digital studio in central London we used once, not sure if the guys remember that one, but that may have given us a song or two for the EP? I’ll need to dig that CD out really to trigger more memories. My main memory of early demo’s and EPs is getting them done cheaply, looking rubbish and sitting down cutting out sleeves for hours at home. They were simpler times. Ha!

Cameron Dean I think people always want there to be some underlying message in the lyrics, but Frank was also singing about going to his dentist as well.

To be honest I think most of the time I didn’t even know what the lyrics were anyway, the music and the melodies and the overall sound was much more important to me. I thought he came up with great melodies, which for me was much more important than the lyrics. I remember reading some of them for the first time as he was recording them for the album and wanting him to change them, much to everyone’s annoyance, oops.

Ben Dawson We let him do his thing lyrically, with the occasional veto or criticism so there certainly wasn’t a band focus on it. I think Frank was singing about the things that were important to him at the time.

“I suppose in reality, what we wanted was unrealistic from an industry standard. But I guess that’s business. I remember we played the Astoria, which was sold out, and got paid £50 for it. I think we worked out that was about 0.5% of the take from the door. It was easy to get a negative mindset, which was not very helpful.” – Cameron Dean

Frank Turner Hum, well. I think there was definitely a sense in the band that the lyrics were my department. Occasionally people would throw in an opinion or a veto, but for the most part I was pretty intensely scribbling away and the others left me to it. There certainly wasn’t supposed to be any kind of “party line” or anything like that, it was me sounding off about things. I was a pretty typically angry adolescent at the time, and was still (just about) hanging out with anarchist types and being into that whole world, though the disillusion was setting in.

Looking back on it now, some of it is cool and clever and observational or whatever, but the most part is pretty much just intellectual machismo, which isn’t very appealing to me. “Check me out, I’ve read more books than you!” I was studying history at the LSE at the time and I think I wanted people to know that. I guess I stand by the more anti-authoritarian aspects of it, but I cringe at how naive and rent-a-quote party-line a lot of it is now.

Julia Ruzicka Personally, I remember being really impressed with most of his lyrics and I perhaps had a more naive take on the literary / political side too back then, so I totally see what Frank means, but whatever he or others think of them now you can’t deny their enthusiasm and excitable nature! They definitely were a talking point. And to this day I think there are some gems in there. They captured what he knew and was excited about at the time; it’s an open an honest snap shot of that phase of life for him. I also really like a lot of the song titles Frank came up with.

Cameron Dean With the ‘Smiling…’ video, for me, I was definitely up for anything. I think we were all pretty excited to be doing a video, but came away with some mixed feelings from it. We were trying to show some elements of our personalities in the video for some reason, so I’m not sure how I ended up in a pool of my vomit receiving a golden shower but I was very supportive of the idea of Julia’s boyfriend at the time (Dave!) being led down Camden High St in a gimps mask and his undies!

Ben Dawson I think we were just up for a laugh. In Million Dead I continued to be frustrated that people with an interest in our success tried to edit our activities in order to try and make us successful (how dare they!). That video was actually a disaster because we had an idea (not a particularly mature one if we’re honest!) and the director had an idea. Neither wanted to compromise so we ended up with this mishmash video that makes no sense whatsoever.

Frank Turner Yeah there was definitely two different plot lines being put forward and the end result is nonsensical. I remember being pretty disappointed with it actually.

Julia Ruzicka Haha! Everyone’s answers on this made me laugh, especially Cam’s enthusiasm for Dave and the gimp mask. Again, pure and utter naivety! Spotting a common denominator here? Haha! No, we definitely weren’t aiming for edgy to gain press, and to be honest I can’t remember what the fuck we were aiming for!

It was a lot of fun making it, I remember that, especially the group shots in the rehearsal studio when we were playing, but I really don’t know what we were trying to achieve aside from getting a cool video perhaps? And we couldn’t have been further from cool if we’d tried! It’s just utterly bizarre with no narrative at all. Watch it on crack, it might make sense then. Though I don’t encourage the use of crack. Or watching this video.

Ben desperately wanted to get his Boba Fett helmet on the screen. He loved that helmet.

Cameron Dean The idea of us being a part of a scene is not how I remember it… We played with some cool bands and with a lot of cool people, but mostly in the last couple of years anyway, they were all organised by our managers or promoters. It made for some strange line-ups.

Frank Turner I never had much time for “scenes”, and there was definitely an effort by some people to class us with a lot of bands around at the time which we resisted, as I remember it. We were friends with Jarcrew, ThisGirl, Engerica and others, but it didn’t have anything to do with the music we were making. We were pretty much in our own bubble on that score, something I’m actually kind of proud of.

And this is all without mentioning the whole “emocore” thing. Ben and I had been into some early emo bands, but the whole thing with FFAF and so on wasn’t, musically, anything to do with us. Even though the Funeral guys were (and are) lovely and helped us out a whole load (for which I will be eternally grateful); it just wasn’t our style of music.

“We achieved that all important foundation, sound and identity as a band during the Cam years. I look upon that whole period fondly really. The news of him leaving was an extremely sad moment for me, but I perhaps did overreact a little at the time (cried and everything, yup)”
– Julia Ruzicka

Ben Dawson I never saw it as a scene at all and it never felt like that to me. With other bands I have felt, and do feel, like part of a particular community of bands and creative types or whatever but Million Dead was a rock band that existed at the same time as other rock bands. We weren’t singing about the same things or pulling in the same directions as other bands. Obviously we got to know a lot of the guys in all the bands we were playing with but it was nothing so coherent as a scene. Not to me, anyway.

Julia Ruzicka I think that swag of British bands at the time were placed into a slightly fabricated scene built more from an industry, journalistic angle rather than from sweaty venues and a bubbling underground, for obviously marketable reasons. That’s me being horribly cynical though and I will counteract that with the positive view that I feel people did have a genuine excitement for this emerging set of bands and liked what they heard but felt the bands perhaps couldn’t stand alone within “the market” and felt a scene would strengthen their chances commercially.

Not once was this our motivation. I can accurately and openly say commercial success was not our driving force. I just remember being really excited about what we were creating and playing and wanted as many people to hear it. We wanted to make music we liked playing, and were proud of playing.

Ben Dawson A lot of people loved our band, that I know, but I don’t think we were ever destined for stardom, even if we had a lot of people telling us we were. In retrospect I would have done a lot of things differently.

“Not getting picked up by certain big labels that we did showcases for seemed like such an injustice at the time, but the reality was that we were never going to make them money and it’s easy to see now why they wouldn’t have wanted us.” – Ben Dawson

It was only after the release of the second album where I think we realised that the success that we’d been talked into believing might happen wasn’t going to and we took a bit of pride in realigning ourselves to the focus of just being a band again and doing what we wanted to do. I can’t believe anyone thought we were ever going to be the kind of band to sell lots of records anyway, as even at our most commercial we were far from poppy and we never wrote with that in mind. Not getting picked up by certain big labels that we did showcases for seemed like such an injustice at the time, but the reality was that we were never going to make them money and it’s easy to see now why they wouldn’t have wanted us.

Frank Turner I think we had a slightly weird beginning because we caught a couple of lucky breaks which made people think we were bigger than we were (or even suspect that we were manufactured in some way, which is a laugh, looking back). We got some good press because some journalist friends helped out, and we got bumped up a couple of tours to main support due to other bands pulling out – that happened with Pitchshifter, for sure, and Funeral I think. I guess there was a bit of buzz around the first headline tour we did – we sold out the Garage! Fame at last! – but I don’t think any of us had any frame of reference to compare it to, so it was all a bit weird, or even unremarkable.

We went out, played hard, then went back to work or uni or whatever. Looking back now, personally, I have a ton more knowledge about what we were going through, but at the time we just kind of went with it.

Julia Ruzicka I don’t think as a band we thought we were rocketing to the top, but we knew there was some interest in us, even if it was just sheer curiosity. I think we were a bit of an anomaly to some. As Frank said, we did get some lucky breaks in the world of press, albeit small ones, which was very helpful indeed and purely down to fluke. That created a little wave of general press interest which in turn led to some people paying attention. And because of that, we had some nice opportunities thrown our way but by no means was it an easy ride.

“We went out, played hard, then went back to work or uni or whatever. Looking back now, personally, I have a ton more knowledge about what we were going through, but at the time we just kind of went with it.”
– Frank Turner

We learned quickly how fickle the music industry was and how indeed it ran purely, as a business, a stupid one at that, but dominated by numbers all the same like any other. I think we did realise though that we got more attention than some other bands and therefore didn’t take things for granted and enjoyed what we could despite being perpetually frustrated by the non-creative side of the fence as we sunk deeper into that world. Not that we wanted that, it just happened. That’s what unknowingly gained traction for us.

Cameron Dean What was it like being in a band gaining such traction? Stressful mostly. There were of course some pretty cool opportunities to play bigger shows and travel a bit, but mostly there was a sense of a loss of control over the decision making process. It seemed like all the other bands we were playing with had better deals than us, better equipment and were having an easier time. In fact we didn’t even have a record deal when we were playing many of our big shows. There were people “advising” us to do things and trying to typecast us, without ever really understanding what we wanted or what were our aims.

I suppose in reality, what we wanted was unrealistic from an industry standard. But I guess that’s business. I remember we played the Astoria, which was sold out, and got paid £50 for it. I think we worked out that was about 0.5% of the take from the door. It was easy to get a negative mindset, which was not very helpful.

Frank Turner The first headline tour, with Jarcrew and Minus, was pretty special for me; Jarcrew were unbelievable, so good; Minus were dicks. And it was the first time people were excited about us, we sold out a bunch of shows, we had a van with seats and a TV, it felt good.

Julia Ruzicka Jarcrew were bloody brilliant and I’m so glad we got to watch them each night. Playing a sold out Garage in London was a triumphant and hugely enjoyable night, loved that show, and also finally getting to play the song ‘A Song To Ruin’ live at the Underworld was a highlight for me too amongst many other great moments, which I can’t remember right now. Memory bank shrinkage due to ageing….. and perhaps years of alcohol consumption.

Ben Dawson The band performance cuts (i.e. where we’re all playing together) were filmed in the Cargo Records warehouse in Fulham where Cam and I worked at the time. I remember at least one very early start to get footage on the tube before it became too crowded and one of the “passengers” leaning on the glass behind Frank is Seedi, one of the singers from Palehorse who I would go on to play with again in Armed Response Unit just after Million Dead broke up. The businessman who starts the video is Cam’s old friend Keiss whose photo of the bottom of a pint of beer is what adorns the first demo.

Ben Dawson Gonzo on Ice was the single most stupid PR rubbish idea that anyone has ever had.

Trying to play in that cold was a nightmare and it was also another experience for me of the lack of focus on music that there is in the music industry. The microphones on the toms weren’t working but the sound guy didn’t think it was an issue (because he didn’t intend to mix them in anyway). The focus was on the singer alone. It was a really pop way of looking at it and another example to me, at the time, of the fact that we were playing in circles that would never understand what we were actually trying to do.

It’s not like we had any noble aims, we just wanted to make the best music we could and simply be a band. The labels, the radio stations, MTV etc. want to sell a product. Not only that but they want to sell that product in the same way that they’ve sold all the other products. There’s little margin for being different or unique.

Julia Ruzicka Gonzo on Ice…..producers running out of ideas? Monkey Tennis anyone? I can’t even remember if we got paid for that? Hope so. They (MTV bods) wanted me to interview some “dudes on boards” there….I honestly told them that my knowledge of snowboarding was comparable to my knowledge of quantum physics, as in minimal, let’s say none more accurately, and they didn’t care! I gave it a shot, it was awkward and rubbish, and I hate the cold.

Cameron Dean Yes I also agree that Gonzo on Ice was a shit idea. Trying to play metal strings in a freezing environment is not a smart idea. Also, Atmosphere pulled out, which was quite disappointing.

Frank Turner Gonzo on Ice was fucking stupid, though that’s where I met the Jetplane guys for the first time, which was cool (Cahir is on my crew to this day).

Ben Dawson This was mostly a fairly relaxed session but we were all set up on a beach in Hove early in the morning with no one else around. At one point we were all standing around talking when a guy chose our section of beach, the only section not deserted, to walk down from the boardwalk, past our gear, to the water where he proceeded to squat and take a dump. He then walked off. I did not later play in any bands with that man.

To my knowledge. The video originally had a weird sub-plot where we were wearing pig masks or something and chasing Frank but this was wisely cut from the final edit. I’m wearing a Narcosis T-Shirt in the video who were an excellent grind band from Wigan that Palehorse used to tour with a lot. The skater who skates off behind Frank when he’s running is our good friend Dave who was also the gimp in the Smiling At Strangers on Trains video.

Frank Turner With the Peel session… I was annoyed to discover that we weren’t going to meet him. Other than that, it was cool to be on it, I guess. Long ago now, but I think we only did the four songs, one of which has to be a cover. I am and always have been a big Tori Amos fan, and I also think we were trying to be contrary, or at least show that we had more musical hinterland than At the Drive In or whatever. The title of ‘It’s a Shit business’ was a quote from League of Gentlemen. ‘Mute Group’ is the only song I ever played second electric on, and I don’t think we ever did it live – it was kind of Cameron’s baby, I think.

Cameron Dean Not meeting John Peel was disappointing, but I took a piss next to Jules Holland.

Ben Dawson My ride cymbal was broken. I can still hear it on the recording now. It’s pretty depressing.

Julia Ruzicka I really thought we would meet John Peel, so it was a bit of a let down when we didn’t, but it was still exciting to record at Maida Vale. I recently went in there to record a session with Future of the Left for Radio One and it was quite lovely to be recorded by the same engineers who were there for our Million Dead Peel session! And they remembered it too without any prompting from me! With the thousands of bands that have sulked their way through those doors I was sincerely shocked that they recognised me and remembered. I’m extremely happy we got to record a Peel session – very lucky to have been able to do that.

Frank Turner My main memory of recording the album, from a musical point of view, is that Joe [Gibb, producer] taught me about diction – about singing in such a way as you could be understood. It was a big and important lesson for me that I stick by to this day. Other than that, not much stands out other than it being cool to be in a proper studio. We were all staying in a one bed flat on the marina in Swansea that was pretty brutal, haha.

Cameron Dean Joe was a cool guy. I remember him driving us around in his car to listen to the mixes on his crappy stereo. It sounded pretty good. I would also not recommend spending a week of your life in Swansea, certainly not in a cramped b&b.

“‘I chase Aeneas back to his ships, I bring the rhythm back to the hips’ is still my favourite moment on that record.”
– Ben Dawson

Julia Ruzicka Working with Joe was fun. I do remember the playback in his car as Cam mentions, which was a great memory. It’s bizarre how little I remember of the accommodation and our time outside of the studio, but that may be a good thing seeing as though we were in Swansea. Poor Swansea, so much dissing. Haha! It was OK though. I remember odd things in the flat like Ben working on course projects….bizarre thing to think about, but we store some strange and random memories sometimes in our brain don’t we?

I was just very excited to be there recording our first album and production wise, again, due to the experience and time we have under our belts now, I wish we had the knowledge of the process we have now back then, but saying that, it’s not a bad first attempt and glad it has a raw and organic sound to it. It wasn’t overly “produced”, which is so important in terms of having any chance of standing the test of time I think. The first play back was loud of course and very exciting.

Ben Dawson I don’t really remember much of this session. I don’t think we changed anything in the studio, though. We were never a band to be “produced.” We simply had people record us, not rewrite our music.

Julia Ruzicka I really, really love the cover of that album. In all honesty I can’t remember how passionate I was about it then, but all I know is that I love it now and think it’s perfect for that record.

Cameron Dean I liked it and Ben didn’t. I convinced the other two.

“I guess I was using my Big Muff and a Vox overdrive pedal, a Boss DD-3, maybe a crybaby wah, for the end of the album. I think I had an old Ibanez flanger that I used as well. Might have put them all on at some stages.”
– Cameron Dean

Ben Dawson There was an alternative cover that I wanted and got very stroppy about being voted against. Frank showed it to me a few years ago for the first time. It was awful. I was wrong. Thanks, guys…

Frank Turner Thanks Ben, for finally conceding. I can’t say I’m hugely into the cover we did go with, but it was better than the other option. Steve from The Murder Of Rosa Luxembourg did the art and indeed the logo, which was cool. Nice guy, as I remember.

Ben Dawson “I chase Aeneas back to his ships, I bring the rhythm back to the hips” is still my favourite moment on that record.

Frank Turner Thanks Ben. Actually I’m pretty proud of the whole record, I think it sounds heavy, intense, energetic and distinct. We were a fucking weird band, but somehow it came together, at least on that record. That whole spoken section at the end of ‘Rise & Fall’ is pretty cool, and a lot of the guitar work sounds great to me. The basslines are pretty odd as well, which I like. Fuck the drummer (HAHAHA).

Cameron Dean There’s really only one or two things I think I would change if I had the chance. I’ve always been pretty happy with it… I always liked ‘The Rise and Fall’ ending as we did it in one take and it represented some of our different interests musically, also the track ‘A song to Ruin’. I think we could have expanded on those directions of songwriting in the future had we continued.

I guess I was using my Big Muff and a Vox overdrive pedal, a Boss DD-3, maybe a crybaby wah, for the end of the album. I think I had an old Ibanez flanger that I used as well. Might have put them all on at some stages. Towards the end I’m just fiddling around with the setting on the delay. I used to do this at the end of shows as well. I can’t say I’ve listened to it in a long time, but I’m pretty sure Ben is still wrong on this one…

Ben Dawson I still wish you’d double tracked it, Cam! Coming into the opening section still sounds like a damp squib to me.

“Actually I’m pretty proud of the whole record, I think it sounds heavy, intense, energetic and distinct. We were a fucking weird band, but somehow it came together, at least on that record.” – Frank Turner

Frank Turner You know, I agreed with that at the time, but I have to say, Cam had a totally unique guitar tone, and listening to it now it sounds great to me. I was wrong on that score.

Julia Ruzicka It’s easily one of my favourite songs on the record, if not my favourite. That song was always a highlight in the live set for me too. I’m really proud of all of our parts on that song, and glad we were free enough in attitude and in our creative senses to go for an ending like that.

Cameron Dean I think I started using a Big Muff after seeing another band using one and thought it sounded pretty heavy. I liked the idea of a couple of different levels of distortion, particularly with only one guitar in the band, so I would use that and the vox overdrive to try and layer the sound as well as a slightly overdriven clean sound. You have to have a good clean sound, or you have nothing. Use Fender amps and never use Marshall!!!. Maybe this is what made it sound a bit different.

Julia Ruzicka For such a baby band, I love everyone’s writing and playing on the whole thing and our energy that was captured on it.

Frank Turner I think, and this is a sentence I’m phrasing carefully, that the period we spent with Cam is the more interesting and unique to me. Partly because we took it from nothing to whatever it was, and partly because I just think we were a musically stranger beast then, which is down to Cam’s guitar playing, which is something I really feel like I didn’t appreciate as much at the time as I should have done. There’s me being a soppy cunt, but it’s true.
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Julia Ruzicka We achieved that all important foundation, sound and identity as a band during the Cam years. I look upon that whole period fondly really. The news of him leaving was an extremely sad moment for me, but I perhaps did overreact a little at the time (cried and everything, yup) as I was relatively immature emotionally still, and really, as gutted as I was he was leaving, in hindsight, at the end of the day, no matter how important the band is to you, it’s still just a band and people have lives outside of that which need to be respected.

Like a relationship, a band works when all members want to be there and that’s what they want to draw from at that particular point in their life. So yeah, I’ve learned that now. If anyone left my current band say, tomorrow, a band I am also very dedicated to and love whole heartedly, I would be disappointed and sad of course, but I’d be fine with it too as I have a bit more perspective on people and life generally now, thankfully.

During this period of Million Dead I also recall Cam taking delight in telling the occasional male fan at gigs that I was a lesbian, and beam with delight as they slumped off. Cheeky shit!

Ben Dawson Anything in particular that I’m proud of? No. It was just a great and life forming experience.

Frank Turner Ben and I knew Tom from before Million Dead. Tom played in Abjure, who toured with Kneejerk when we were all still at school, and he was later in Palehorse with Ben. Tom had a reputation (well deserved!) as being the best guitar player we knew, so he was the obvious person to ask when Cam left the band. I was confident that he could learn Cam’s parts easily enough, and also take us in some new directions as well. Plus, we (well, Ben & I) were old friends, and we’d already toured together.

Julia Ruzicka I didn’t know Tom that well prior to him joining MD, but within our musical circles, seeing him perform, etc, I knew he was a brilliant musician, so it was exciting to not only be able to continue with the band, but with a trusted pair of hands. Tom is a musical freak – I say that with high respect – he can play anything and he is incredibly intuitive and fast with picking up any song.

Frank Turner I remember early rehearsals with Tom being a relief, because he just nailed the old songs from the off, and as far as I can remember we started working on new riffs immediately.

Tom Fowler I started playing guitar in 1993, after first getting into Metallica and Iron Maiden and then discovering Nirvana, Dinosaur Jr and others. I would meet up with a drummer friend of mine pretty much every Friday evening and we would play covers of our favourite bands. Neither of us ever took formal lessons of any kind, we just got into it by playing and learning what we were listening to at the time.

I remember getting heavily into Black Flag and Hüsker Dü in late 1998, which was a revelation. I had fun learning some of the twisted riffs on BF albums like ‘In My Head’, ‘My War’ and ‘Slip It In’. I still play a lot of those riffs when warming up or messing about on guitar.

I had played in bands with Frank and Ben before, so we were familiar with playing live and being in rehearsals/recording studios together. I hadn’t played any music with Julz before MD but was aware that she was/is an excellent bassist.

“Learning the set was interesting, as Cameron’s guitar style is very different to mine. He used a lot of chord shapes and techniques that were quite unorthodox, so I enjoyed the challenge of replicating them to a degree, while also adding some of my own playing style into the mix.” – Tom Folwer

At the time I was asked to join, I was living/working in East London and to be honest, was completely out of the loop regarding what MD was up to. I received a call out of the blue from Ben in early May 2004 as I recall. It did throw me for a bit of a loop, as I was actually planning on putting together a new band, influenced by records like Codeine’s ‘The White Birch‘ & ‘Frigid Stars‘ and ‘The Curtain Hits The Cast‘ by Low, which I was heavily into at the time. I was getting equipment/ideas together and had put put out tentative ‘feelers’ for people to play with. I remember asking John Atkins (Palehorse/Remote Viewing) if he was interested in doing something along those lines. After speaking with Ben, I thought about it for a day or so and then got back in touch and we booked in a rehearsal for the following week. Ben sent me a CDR of their current set of songs to learn before the session.

I immediately got to work on learning the MD set, which was interesting, as Cameron’s guitar style is very different to mine. He used a lot of chord shapes and techniques that were quite unorthodox, so I enjoyed the challenge of replicating them to a degree, while also adding some of my own playing style into the mix.

I remember the first few rehearsals at the sorely missed Backstreet Rehearsal Studios in Holloway Road as being a lot of fun. We got the set together very quickly as I recall. The first gig I was booked to play with MD was at the ‘Buk and Skit‘ Festival in late June, so we didn’t have a lot of time to play around. We got to work, got the set tight, with minimal stops etc and continued rehearsing multiple times a week in the lead up to the gig. Somehow, in the midst of getting the set together, we found the time to write a new song, which we performed at the gig!

After the Buk and Skit gig, there were several others already booked (Milton Keynes/Norwich/Truck Festival/Plymouth Festival), so the activity started to snowball, and we were off!

Joining an established band, which already had an album and several tours under its belt was a new experience for me. I definitely made an effort to play my best and do the older MD material justice, which seemed to go over well with the crowds at the gigs.

Ben Dawson Not much to add to what the others have said other than Tom was an obvious choice given our longstanding relationship (fun fact: Million Dead’s “A Song to Ruin” and Palehorse’s “Gee that ain’t swell” (Tom and I were in Palehorse) were both released in 2003 and both received 5K reviews in Kerrang that year). Musical chemistry is also important and while I think Tom would agree that he and I fell out at the end of/after Million Dead, I reckon the two of us could still get in a room and smash out a pretty good record in 5-10 sessions.

It’s a similar relationship that I have with Frank when we jam, where you both get into the flow of what the other is doing instantly. That doesn’t necessarily mean you both want to do the same thing but when the other person takes your idea and turns it around so that you’re looking at it from a different perspective that’s even better than the way you first thought of it. That’s definitely something we had.

Tom Fowler ‘Harmony/No Harmony’ was written over late summer/autumn 2004 and was recorded in November of that year. We had a pretty intensive few weeks of rehearsals in October to finalise arrangements and get the last few ideas together. I was using alternate tunings for several of the tracks (Holloway Prison Blues, After the Rush Hour, Living the Dream), which would have had a lot to do with it sounding quite different to the first album.

I really can’t recall why we decided on 14 tracks! The first album had 10 I think? I’m sure there was a conversation at some point where that decision was reached. It was a lot to put together in a short period of time.

“Lyrically, I’m actually much prouder of Harmony than the first record. I feel like I managed to ditch a little bit of the “look at me I’m so smart!” vibe and actually use my intellect to say something rather than boast.” – Frank Turner

Julia Ruzicka It was interesting to work with a very different sound on guitar and style, and it was good to move forward creatively in a way which didn’t replicate ASTR. I adore ASTR and I think Cam is an incredibly creative writer, but you wouldn’t want to duplicate it as that won’t serve much purpose. My only gripe with the process is that the bass is more buried in this production, but I would say that(!). However, it really is. If there was a chance to remix it, I’d bring the bass forward more, or at least give it more clarity. Ben, Frank and Tom all wrote amazing music/lyrics for this album. I appreciate Frank’s lyrics now more than ever I think.

Frank Turner The lyrics are solid easter eggs all the way through! Haha. I could write a long essay about that. Everything from Glen Campbell to Juvenal and probably a load of shit I’ve forgotten now. There was more of a sense of humour in places on this record which I really like – “Holloway Prison Blues” being the best example of that. Someone once told me they’d played the song to Francis Fukuyama, which is… wild.

Lyrically, I’m actually much prouder, overall, of Harmony than the first record. I feel like I managed to ditch a little bit of the “look at me I’m so smart!” vibe and actually use my intellect to say something rather than boast. The lyrics to “Bread & Circuses” and “Engine Driver” in particular feel really strong to me to this day.

I don’t remember much of the writing process specifically to be honest. I think our methodology was the same, but Tom is such a fast learner / player / thinker that things came pretty quickly. As the cliché goes, you have a lifetime to write your first album and a year for your second. We wrote quickly, and as a result some bits of the arrangements could probably have done with more thought and more playing in live, but I still really like the record.

Ben Dawson As Frank says, some of the arrangements could have done with some work, but it really is a good snapshot of a moment in time. My biggest regret is that I cracked my ride cymbal shortly before the recording and the loan cymbal I had for the recording sounds like a washy pile of shite rather than the you-can’t-hear-anything-but-my-ride-cymbal vibe that I tend to like (see: Palehorse and Möngöl Hörde for what I’m talking about).

Frank Turner Sonically I remember Tom was on a big Failure trip at the time, which was a cool new addition to our arsenal. We were also getting into later period Black Flag at the time (the album title comes from the liner notes to “The Process Of Weeding Out”) which brought a heaviness and weirdness to proceedings that I still really like. I think that Ben, Julia and I felt like we knew what we were doing a little more in the studio, and Tom didn’t seem to sweat that either. The production was bigger as a whole – we had a manager, more time in the studio and so on, and working at Battery was really cool, given the history there.

Ben Dawson My memory may well be way out here (and it’s typically me me me focussed) but the way I remember it is that we had a few tracks pretty much written in our usual weekly rehearsals – such as Living the Dream – but that we then went into an intensive writing period shut up in a rehearsal room for a few weeks. Julz was working a lot for the first half of that period so it was Frank, me and Tom in the room and in the second half, Frank was writing a lot of lyrics so then it was Julz, me and Tom and then we all came together at the end to (very rapidly!) try and polish it all up.

Julia Ruzicka Now that I’ve recorded multiple times since this record, I’d never choose to record like this again. There were too many ‘separates’ for my liking, and I feel when you record a band live, all together, the energy, the centre of the art and that moment in time is captured in a more raw, exciting way. If the band is tight enough, and confident enough (the instruments), then record it live, all together, when and where you can. It sounds better imho. I think this album would have come alive if we did it this way. I didn’t know enough, and I wasn’t experienced enough at the time to suggest this approach. But that’s ok, we live and learn.

Frank Turner I don’t remember this album as being particularly fraught, in the studio, I think there was actually less internal conflict than there had been with ASTR. That might be memory playing tricks though. Mark Williams [producer] was a lovely guy, and I enjoyed working with him at the time, though I have to say that in retrospect I’m not the biggest fan of Harmony/No Harmony sonically. It’s a bit… fizzy in places. He was much closer to our age than Joe Gibb had been, which was reassuring at times, and at times slightly disconcerting.

Ben Dawson I think we wanted a “massive” sound but overcooked it and ended up with something that’s a bit weird. A Song to Ruin is so raw, we wanted something that sounded more like a solid rock album. We missed. As Tom says, we probably would have been better off recording live and then doing some minimal overdubs. You live and learn.

Tom Fowler Regarding the overall mix/end result, I think it came out well! With hindsight, I think it may have sounded more cohesive if the basic guitar, bass and drum tracks had been recorded live in the room, with minimal overdubs added if needed. That’s the approach I’ve used on subsequent albums that I’ve been involved with and it generally makes for a speedier process, with the finished product being a more accurate representation of what the band actually sounds like playing together. That being said, it’s all a learning process and the technique we used for HNH definitely felt right at the time.

“A Song to Ruin is so raw, we wanted something that sounded more like a solid rock album. We missed. You live and learn.” – Ben Dawson

The actual recording was a great experience! We recorded over a two week period, took a week off and then mixed for another week. I loved the routine of heading in there for late morning/early afternoon, getting some food, seeing what needed to be done and then working until late to get the day’s tasks completed. I’m pretty sure we were all around for each other’s parts, to offer comments and guidance if required.

Ben Dawson Mark is such a lovely guy and Barney (the tech at Battery) was great too. I’m not sure I went home during the recording and slept there most nights on the floor but then again, I may be wrong. I do remember a lot of good evenings drinking wine and eating an excellent curry from a place round the corner. In terms of conflict, I was usually the one causing that (because I want everything my way and have all the empathy of a rock) but I do remember almost getting kicked out when Frank was trying to record vocals and I was getting on his back and then (unusually for me) backing down and stopping being an arsehole. Turns out things are easier if you’re not a complete dick about things. Who would have thought it?

Frank Turner I remember the guitar-breaking incident…! Also, I sucked at Halo.

Tom Fowler I borrowed a couple of very nice, vintage guitars from a friend of ours, one of which was a 60’s Gibson Les Paul Jr. During the recording of one of the tracks, it was leaning against a couch in the control room. Needless to say, someone bumped it, it hit the floor and the headstock snapped off. I was mortified. Luckily, the owner was very understanding and didn’t give us too much grief.

In terms of pedals, I remember using a Line 6 DL4, Z Vex Fuzz factory, Crowther Hot Cake, EHX Deluxe Memory Man and several others. I think we may have used an MXR Phase 100 very lightly on some of the clean parts. There was some pitch-shifting on the intro to ‘Living The Dream’, which was achieved with a Boss PS-5.

Ben Dawson Oh, I totally forgot to mention BC! BC was Battery Cat. He was 20 or 21 years old when we recorded there and was pretty much completely deaf after a lifetime of sitting listening to loud bands.

On Carthago and Engine Driver I used a giant Tam Tam (like a huge gong) and when I was recording that I wore earplus and then cans over my ears. Despite that, the tam tam was almost uncomfortably loud. BC was sat next to me washing himself as my ears screamed for relief until, just as it got to its loudest, he pricked his ears up in a, “what the hell is that?” way as he heard something for the first time in years. He then did a runner from the room.

Tom Fowler Overall, I’m very proud of the Harmon/No Harmony album and the fact that we worked hard to make the live show as energetic and tight as possible during my time in the band.

Ben Dawson I listened to Harmony/No Harmony for the first time in ages while writing my answers to this. It’s pretty good.

Frank Turner One day during recording my sister called me and told me the guitarist from Pantera had been shot onstage. Initially I snorted and said “They broke up years ago!” but then I checked the (pre-social media) internet and saw the news. I’m a huge Pantera fan (more recent idiocy from Phil aside), I think we all were, and I was gutted to hear about it. The fact of him being shot on stage was pretty chilling as well. Hence the dedication in the Harmony/No Harmony sleeve notes.

Tom Fowler We were in the studio when the news came through about Dimebag’s death. We were all completely shocked, as was everyone who heard about it. We all had a lot of respect for his playing and writing, so a dedication on the album seemed the least we could do.

Ben Dawson Frank and I grew up with Pantera and Dimebag was an absolute master riff writer. I can really only associate them with racist twattery these days but at the time it seemed the right thing to do.

If Million Dead (or any other band I’ve been in) was the kind of band that wrote music based on what we wanted the people listening to it to think then we might have been commercially successful, but that’s not what we did. We wrote music for ourselves. – Ben Dawson

Frank Turner My other thing to mention, in terms of memories of this album, was that I was sort of transitioning to bourgeois homelessness at the time – I sold all my shit and moved out of my apartment so I could be on tour forever (aka sofa surfing when required). I spent a fair bit of the recording period sleeping in the vocal booth at Battery. I recently tracked another record there (“No Man’s Land”) and it was weird, but cool, to revisit the place. Barney, the housekeeper / in-house technician, remembered MD fondly.

Ben Dawson I could write essays on the difference between the perception of a creation and the perception of the people who experience that creation. If Million Dead (or any other band I’ve been in) was the kind of band that wrote music based on what we wanted the people listening to it to think then we might have been commercially successful, but that’s not what we did. We wrote music for ourselves. The fact that people liked it is a bonus and I love that people (not many people, to be fair!) like the music I’ve been part of creating but they are absolutely not a consideration when I’m involved in writing.

For example, I was furious when our label sanctioned an edit to Living the Dream for video release. I realise they were trying to make us a success, but my view was, what’s the point of success if you’re messing with the music itself? Obviously, I voiced those views in my usual thought-through and diplomatic way. What I’m saying is, we didn’t set out to write a record that was the same as or different to ASTR – we just set out to write a record that we liked. And we did. I prefer it to ASTR, personally but that shouldn’t matter to anyone any more than their opinions should matter to me.

Julia Ruzicka People can’t help but compare. And that gets a little boring, but I understand it. However, bands/artists, make what they make, at that time, and those that look for external validation will always be disappointed. Make it for yourself, the rest will follow, or not! Doesn’t matter at the end of the day. You need to live with it, so make it for you/your band.

Frank Turner Our whole organisation had stepped up a touch, compared to where we were before ASTR, largely because of the (limited) success of that record. So it felt a bit more grown-up, and we got some reviews. I don’t remember them especially well, other than that one of them said that they thought HNH would be seen in time as a transitional record for us, which I actually thought was pretty smart and on the money. Alas we never did the next step.

Tom Fowler I don’t recall being aware of much adverse reaction to the album. We were touring a lot around time of the album’s release, so we worked up a set that was 50/50 ASTR and HNH and kept moving ahead. The new songs were accepted by the crowds at gigs very quickly! I remember playing the Astoria with Finch and we had most of the crowd clapping along with ‘To Whom It May Concern’. It was a great moment.

Frank Turner I guess we were a little older and wiser, and certainly carried ourselves that way, though it seems pretty silly to me in retrospect, we were still just kids. We didn’t exactly ‘break through’ to a higher level with the album.

Ben Dawson I think we got to the point where we could ask for whisky on the rider but in reality, we were still a band touring the toilet circuit and being given 24 warm carlings (urgh). The difference was that the venues were more full. It’s not like we were Queen.

Frank Turner The “Living The Dream” video was a blast (and I still think that’s one of our best songs). As far as I can remember I came up with the initial idea – an alternative glam rock universe – and we all refined it, but I might be wrong about that. We’d learned to stay focussed on one narrative after the debacle of the “Smiling” video, but I like the fact we were still keen on ripping on ourselves in public.

The day of the shoot was a blast, gathering people at the Barfly dressed like idiots. I made some lifelong friends that day actually, not least my late friend Lex, who I wrote a song about later. I have a memory of walking across a bridge on a council estate dressed like a prat in make-up and being pretty nervous.

Julia Ruzicka Sadly, I don’t think I have those boots anymore. It was a fun shoot, great song. My daughter now really laughs at a small section when Ben and Tom greet each other in their glam get up – I’m surprised she got the nuance of that scene! She’s had the chance to meet the guys, so maybe, that’s why she gets that moment. Ha!

Tom Fowler The ‘Living The Dream’ video was a bigger production and definitely took a lot longer to shoot. I remember it being a fun day with many locations. The highlight for me was definitely the ‘gig’ scene at the Barfly. A well loved venue that we had all played many times before with MD and other, previous bands.

Ben Dawson What a great video on such a tiny budget. All our videos, bar the first one, were filmed by two guys called Pete and George who really deserved more success based on their ability to do what they did with the budgets they had. They were both a lot of fun to hang out with as well. On one occasion, Pete had someone in a bar walk up to me once and ask if I was in Million Dead just to see my face when the guy told me that he actually had no idea who I was. Fucker.

Frank Turner Touring was good, as far as I can recall. We were a pretty well-oiled unit by this point. Touring with Fighting With Wire was a highlight, and we did some bigger support slots, a few festivals, that kind of thing. I think we were pretty good. Reading & Leeds was a highlight, as was the last tour, weirdly enough, as we were playing really well, even though we all knew it was over by that point.

Ben Dawson Playing-wise we were super tight and it made for an ironic counterbalance to the way we were falling apart as a group of people. The more we fell apart, the better we got at playing.

Julia Ruzicka I’m a bit of a glass half full person, so I only recall the positives of touring in this band. But sure yeah, we were getting to the point where we needed personal space. Despite that, always tight on stage, enjoyed the gigs/tours.

Tom Fowler The tours with Fighting With Wire and Engerica were very memorable times. We would quite often be playing six or seven gigs in a row, sometimes more, so by the end of those tours, we were an extremely tight band. The new material had melded with the old and we sounded like a cohesive unit.

Frank Turner We got invited to Latvia by a guy called Edgars, who actually got in touch with me (through Myspace I think) to ask about Kneejerk coming out for a show. I told him we’d broken up years ago but that me and Ben had a new band. I also looked up where Latvia was on a map. We went out for a few days and a couple of shows. It was awesome, made some lifelong friends, and I’ve been out there a bunch (with the same people) solo. We didn’t really play overseas much – a few shows in Belgium and Latvia, and Dublin once or twice. That’s always seemed a shame to me, I think we would have destroyed Germany.

Ben Dawson I seem to remember Pete (videographer) decking me in a club in Brighton once after a gig when we were both hammered. He called me the next day to apologise and it was the first I remembered it as I think I had just got back up and continued chatting to him.

Frank Turner The decking incident which Ben mentions, let me expand on that, because I remember it well, haha. We had a Jagermeister sponsorship setup for one of our tours – loads of bands did back then. They basically gave you these box kits, one for every day of the tour, with a bottle of Jager, a foam test tube rack and some plastic test tubes, and a bunch of other shit…

We were in Brighton and they’d sent Pete and George down to film us having “backstage hijinks” with the Jager. We were all completely sick of the shit by then, but they had a job to do, so eventually, after the show, in the tiny dressing room, Ben sat down with a full test tube rack and I timed a minute, and he did as many shots as he could – two at a time. I think he did like 14 or something. Then he was completely fucked. In the club (I mean, we went to a club, we must have been arseholed) Ben said something to Pete about the film Fight Club, then took a drunk swing at him, and missed. Pete hit him back. It was fucking hilarious, as I recall.

Ben Dawson To add to that. I remember downing the Jaeger and Jamie (our tour manager, driver and fifth band member) coming into the dressing room to tell us it was load out time. I plaintively requested a pass on that night’s load out and he granted it. Thank god. I would have been worse than useless.

Frank Turner Prior to that, after you downed the Jager, you looked at me, and said in a small, sad voice, “Frank, can you pack up my drums please?” So I did. You’re welcome.

Julia Ruzicka I think 20 years on, we are more mature, well rounded people, and I feel we’d enjoy it even more now. We’d probably be one of the most boring bands to witness on tour – no crazyness, but do many bands do that anymore? Society as a whole is more health conscious now, so I think you’ll catch more bands going on daily runs, sitting in saunas and eating salads now. As boring as that sounds, it’s better than drugs and groupies – that can get in the bin.

Frank Turner The last show wasn’t great for me. There was a heat issue – they’d redone the Joiners and not sorted the airflow, it was so hot I passed out a few times and we had to drop songs from the set, which really sucked. I feel like we’d managed to sustain the tour up to that point because there was always one more day, one more show. And then at the end, that was it, and I was pretty despondent.

I was also not especially sober on that tour (!!!) and I think it was all catching up with me by the end. It was certainly a whimper more than a bang. I don’t remember us saying goodbye or anything like that afterwards, which was really depressing.

Ben Dawson It was bittersweet. The fact that we had to cut songs from our last ever set was a great shame and I remember Frank being in tears and so angry after the show at the fact that something that could have been great had been ruined. I had the spectre of a new job the very next day and my brother drove me back to London to become a normal person and start paying the bills.

It all seemed pretty bleak but, in reality, life goes on. If Million Dead hadn’t split, would Frank have had the career he’s had? I wouldn’t have met so many of the people I’ve met since (another fun fact: at the job I started the next day, which was at Virgin Megastores, I met my friend Dez who would later produce the Möngöl Hörde record).

Tom Fowler I remember the last gig at the Joiners being intensely hot. Perspiration dripping from the ceiling into amps, seemingly no air in the place. The crowd were great and were really going for it, and we’d been on tour for the past 10 days or so, so we could get through the majority of the set despite the conditions.

Julia Ruzicka Hot. Just so hot. I remember looking at Frank specifically, and really feeling his struggle, performing in that heat, and the emotion of it all – I’d go back in time and give him an iced lolly, open some windows and give him a hug. The heat dominated everything I think.

Tom Fowler Towards the end, relationships within the band had soured and it was difficult to work on new material. We could still run through sets for gigs, but the creativity had come to an end.

Ben Dawson We fell out. Rightly or wrongly we ended up disliking each other quite a bit for varying lengths of time. The details aren’t important. It happens. And it happened a lifetime ago.

Julia Ruzicka It just ran its course to a point and people were tired – plus we were really young, still navigating through how to understand ourselves as individuals, and as a collective, still trying to understand the world.

I was older, but emotionally, quite immature, now that I look back. Not like an idiot immature, but I was still learning about all sorts of relationships – my family background didn’t equip me very well with how to nurture different relationships and left me with low self esteem – all which has evolved immensely with age, time, therapy, friends, reflection, etc.

I never disliked anyone in Million Dead at any time, and I was over the moon when I heard from any of them subsequently. These people were part of some extremely formative years for me, I will always be thankful to them, and always be there for them.

Frank Turner I have long taken the view that what happened internally in the band is no one else’s business, so I won’t say more than that. I guess we didn’t really work out how to get along as a unit very well, and over time things broke down. And, as mentioned, personally I was feeling a bit exhausted by it all.

It turned out to be more of a marathon than the sprint that we momentarily had been allowed to think it might be, and I suspect that played a part as well. In the end, I think we left behind a good looking corpse, a bunch of music I can still be fiercely proud of, overall, and that seemed like a good thing.